Sorrow Sharer T-Shirts

"Sorry... we're a juice bar now."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

Share your blessings - give to Toys for Tots, Salvation Army, Food Shelves.

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

The last person to leave, please turn off the enlightenment.

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

'Checkmate!'

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

"...and so I left Wall Street and made a killing in poetry."

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

"He doesn't understand that I have certain needs I have to talk about all day long."

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."

"You're not as serene as you could be, Fred."

"Keep 'em coming until I smile."

Valentine's Day

Books: Chicken Soup for the Soul / Cheeseburger and fries for the Soul.

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

'Of course I can keep a secret, but not for very long.'

Animal cemetary with a grieving dog.

'For goodness sake, do it properly! Use your EYES! It's all about the EYES!!'

"Eve, if I tell you something can you keep it a secret?"

"Our dog's shedding is worse than we thought. Someone called here and they still got hair on them."

"I always enjoy our talks."

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

The Boarding-House

"I don't know why people say TV has killed the art of conversation, it's all we ever talk about."