Soreness Survivor Mugs

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty. (Published previously on September 4, 2010).

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

Nervous Oral Testing

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

A Few Common Ailments

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

'If God had meant us to fly, he would have made airline seats big enough to sit in.'

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

The Meeting: Day Four

'Something tells me we are NOT on the same page.'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"Yes, you were snoring again."

Asthma cats

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'

'Bless you!'

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

"No, thanks, Tex - it makes me queasy just watching you."

Pollen's Side of the Story

"Next time, try warming up with a little idle speculation before jumping to a conclusion."

'Hey! Suddenly, my back feels way better! Weird...'

'You decided not to join the navy because you get seasick?'