Songwriter Spirit Pillows

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Anna Calvi

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

George Michael

"That is an outrageous slur."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Bryan Ferry

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

Bashful in Nashville

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

George Michael

'He's working on a lullaby.'

Ray Davies

Jerry Lordan

Joe Henry

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

B.B. King

'My love is like a red red rose...'

"I always thought love made the world go round."

Modern Life Blues

Nick Cave

The Work-from-Home-Polka