Sommelier Prints

Creation of Red Wine

"And don't try to pull the old 'good wine steward, bad wine steward' routine."

"This martini in canonical."

"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"This brand has a clean balance sheet, a lively marketing plan with tasteful notes of originality, and a strong fiscal-year finish."

"That will be perfect. We have a lot to talk about."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

The wine and water lists.

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

'Perhaps Madam would prefer something less robust.'

Sheep with wine - Mutton Cadet

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Try our Austrian wines."

"Do you have any California wines that support same-sex marriage?

Corkscrew

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

'Don't bring me anything younger than my liver.'

'One develops a nose...'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'This Pinot Grigio reminds me of Miami Beach - they're both close to water.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

Winery tours.

'A little flinty with a blackcurrent boguet, medium tannin, a slight hint of the sea, with merlot overtones and an after taste that becomes okaey with a hint of liquorice...'

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

"May I suggest a wine and a filter setting?"

'I'd like this pinot noir, but I can't afford it - and I own the winery.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'