Someone With A Neighbor Pillows

Argentea Vulgaris

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"He ran out of pee."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

A senior moment.

"Mr. Swinehart has just crossed Route 36 at Goshen Junction. We are all expected, in exactly eighteen minutes, to greet him as he comes down the driveway."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

'I wish I knew now what I knew then...'

'These are your parking charges.'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'I see we've got a devout mac user at no. 23.'

'Want to have a snowball fight?'

Screenior citizen

Pavlov's neighbor gets a wind chime.

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

'I occasionally go out for a walk, and I buy groceries every two weeks or so. I wonder if I qualify as a recluse.'

Bloke trimming hedge to look like neighbour/wife.

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'