Solo Entrepreneur Enthusiast Gifts

'I'll have my people call your people. Wait a minute, that won't work. I'm a sole proprietor.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''

Decision Making Block

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

'Wow, my own desk!'

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I decided to close the stand and sell the lemonade on eBay.'

Napoleon marches off alone

A man with a rake on a desert island

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

Mark Zuckerberg

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."

Home for the Holidays

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

"How much do you need?"

How much did you lose when the stock market tanked last week, Randy? Nada, little buddy. A real man never invests in other people's businesses, he only invests in his own. If you lose on stocks, it's because you didn't research them enough. If you lose on your own business, it's because you gave it your all and it just didn't work out. Ladies see valiant failure as being way hotter than poor-research failure. That's from chapter 12 of my new book, "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's guide to manvesting."

"It's a new start up, a radical new way of printing money!"

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Dirty man to fellow business man: 'I got in on the ground floor, then had to tunnel out.'

"If I'm laid off, may I apply for a job at your start up?"