Soldier Gifts

"How do you stay so calm about the stock market?"

'The kit's finally arrived then.'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

"Look, I'd like to avoid overkill, but not at the risk of underkill."

"Nice going. That was one of our guys, just trying to clean out the gutters."

'No, the morning traffic doesn't bother me.'

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

'...and then he made me run through a muddy puddle!!'

"Wait! Has anyone done a privacy impact assessment?"

'I've been on a lot of survival training courses, but this is a tough one.'

Fort Issimo: 'I don't like it - it's too quiet.'

"I'm trying to forget a 401k."

'Is that the firewood we ordered or are we under siege?'

'I know where you live!'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Hang on kid...you have to sign up before you get to play with the toys!'

"Great speech, general. Poor choice of uniform."

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

'Hey! These target coordinates are the same... as...'

'So, the memo said, 'twenty-one gnu salute' huh?'

'Spreading democracy is hell!'

'They were identical twins until Jim joined the army and John joined the Peace Corps.'

There is a new Peacemaker in town!

The Queens Guard hair do.

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

Army recruitment - Someone else's country needs you!

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

US Democracy - Stuck, In The Middle.

'Private! I said to search for IEDs!'

'Spreading Democracy is hell!'

'I forgot - is this a movie set, or the real thing?'

'Why are they all picking on me?'

"Mind if I turn my hearing aid down?"