Soldier Gifts

"How do you stay so calm about the stock market?"

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'The kit's finally arrived then.'

"Look, I'd like to avoid overkill, but not at the risk of underkill."

"Nice going. That was one of our guys, just trying to clean out the gutters."

'No, the morning traffic doesn't bother me.'

'...and then he made me run through a muddy puddle!!'

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

"Wait! Has anyone done a privacy impact assessment?"

'I've been on a lot of survival training courses, but this is a tough one.'

Fort Issimo: 'I don't like it - it's too quiet.'

"I'm trying to forget a 401k."

'I know where you live!'

'Is that the firewood we ordered or are we under siege?'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'Hang on kid...you have to sign up before you get to play with the toys!'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

'Hey! These target coordinates are the same... as...'

"Great speech, general. Poor choice of uniform."

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'They were identical twins until Jim joined the army and John joined the Peace Corps.'

There is a new Peacemaker in town!

Army recruitment - Someone else's country needs you!

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

The Queens Guard hair do.

US Democracy - Stuck, In The Middle.

'Spreading democracy is hell!'

Super advanced training: 'The object is to stay on top, while rolling down hill.'

"Well, if your allies said that about you then they're not your allies."

'I forgot - is this a movie set, or the real thing?'

Smart Bomb Pre-Launch Briefing...

'Why are they all picking on me?'

"Mind if I turn my hearing aid down?"