Soft Clothing Seeker T-Shirts

You can't give mom an electric screwdriver for Christmas. How about some software? Good idea! I know the kinds she likes. What's it called? Cashmere. Very soft.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I don't like your application."

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'll take it!'

Elegant woman in backless dress.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

Born to be Mild.

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '