Society Reflector Gifts

Society of Martyrs

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"Lucky!"

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"This next one's for anyone feeling a little lonely right now, namely, me."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"No land women want me, so I'm off to try my hand in the sea."

'I think we're on different career paths.'

"Twenty years ago, I invited you in for a nightcap. I now retract that invitation."

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."