Socially Selective Pillows

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."

'I'm a hermit crab and like it this way, so no, I don't want to join any social network!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Speed Dating.

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"There she is! Don’t be nervous. Just be yourself, walk over there and sniff her."

Democracy In Action

The NHS - 'I'm afraid years of neglect and abuse have left her in terminal decline.'

19th Hole.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"Well look who decided to show up."

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

Four golfers shouting 'Four'.

Swing by won't you?

Rebels without causes: Lorem ipsum, T.B.D., Insert slogan here

'I'm a finicky vegetarian. I don't eat eggs unless they're poached. I don't eat meat, unless it is properly marinated. I don't eat fish unless it's breaded and fried.'

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

"Nice to meet you. And may I just say, I don't feel uncomfortable at all."

'Don't you think you should get involved in some volunteer work, Bernie?'

"Sorry, Doc, all I heard was wine and chocolate can sometimes be beneficial."

"Now let's all introduce... ourselves."

Large Salmon in a fishmonger's

I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie. It just sounds horrible. It takes all the best parts of it: Seeing someone for the first time

"Well gentlemen, I think it's time we rejoined the ladyboys."

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

Over 65's get together - whilst stocks last.

'I am so far out of touch with the needy that I don't even know where to find them.'

Words DO hurt. Case in point: "BUM." ? ?

'I'll have to go - some-one's knocking at the door.'

Lonely? Friendless? Just plain unpopular? Don't golf alone! Get the inflatable Golf Buddy!!