Socialite Spirits T-Shirts

"Can Dave come out to drink cider in the park?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Follow God On Twitter

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

A day at the races

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"Your party just totally blew us away."