Socialite Humorist Mugs

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"I'm after the history section."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

Wine tasters...

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'