Social Security Satirist T-Shirts

"My social security number is one."

Runaway Bride.

Social Security, The Movie!

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I'm after the history section."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Pizzas

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'