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Club Antisocial

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Internet.

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

His and Hers Wedding

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

But Darling, how could I possibly have an affair?

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

The little search engine: I think I can, I know I can.

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Life Extension Journal.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'A four-leaf clover! They say it brings luck!'

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

Tunnel of love/Tunne of indifference.

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

'Apparently I was wrong about you being Elvis in a past life.. It turns out you were an Elvis impersonator.'

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

"Well, the flocking together is amazing, but sometimes I wonder if that's all we have in common."

Lovers' Leap

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'