Social Media Storyteller Gifts

"This is off our first TikTok."

Didn't you get my tweet?

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

"It's bad enough seeing his vacation movies - he's gotta charge admission!"

'My drawings on the fridge are nice, but my video of grandmom putting them there just went viral!'

'Wait a minute...you know I can't enjoy any experience until I've added dramatic flourishes and posted it on Facebook.'

"Political advertising not allowed!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."