Social Media Sages Gifts

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

'Oh no, not another tweet!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Likes: $2.

"#Win!"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Selfie Stick

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Giraffe Selfie

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Online Dating

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Twitter censorship

Victorian Selfie

Early Learning Today

"#BeCurious"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"#notguilty."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Chasebook

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.