Social Media Oversharer Gifts

'I use Facebook to share my thoughts about my unsightly liver spots and hard stools.'

"I'm bored."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Quickly nurse! Get her phone and upload a picture to facebook!"

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

My Countree

"Today I'm going to search and scroll and swipe and binge."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

Procrastination Bucket List

"We'd like somewhere off the beaten track but Instagram friendly."

"It's such a pleasure to meet you - you look even sleepier in person than you do on YouTube."

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

"I have to get this project finished."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

"Mommy, can I help you feed the troll?"

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'

"You can also diagnose narcissism with them."

"It's a new tweet from our teacher. She wants us to turn off our phones."

"It’s great to be back in the theater again."

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'