Social Media Engagement Gifts

You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Yeah. You loved it, but then once you saw that "Birds of a Feather" episode, you hated it. Yeah. But now I love it again, because of season 2 episode 18: "To Bind the Wounds." Particularly the scene starting at 36 minutes and 11 seconds, and the rest of the way through. By the end of it, I was sobbing like a baby. I don't think there's anything worse than a grown man sobbing at his iPhone. You can see me sob at the 43:28 mark in my reac

'I don't have time to answer individual questions, but you can subscribe to my PODCAST.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

Love at First Sight

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'