Social Grace Aficionados T-Shirts

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"Who do you think you're fooling, Henry, smelling the cork and tasting the wine? The only wine you ever buy comes in a box!"

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

Happy hour.

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

"Call me old-fashioned, but I felt much more at home with the Forsytes than I do with the Louds."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

"Just a glass of wine with breakfast, officer."

'A cenacle is no place to be zaftig.'

Tea Shop.

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

Met Gala

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

"Mom, why did Miss Manners never marry?"

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

They're mostly harmless

"From the gentleman at the bar."

"Oh, how low can you get!"

'You get the feeling we're getting too familiar?'

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"

"Well gentlemen, I think it's time we rejoined the ladyboys."

'I got into this business to help people, not recognition, but a thanks or a friendly wave once in a while would be nice...'

The Eternal Optimist: Smiley Face grocery bag in the garbage, saying, 'Thank You'.

"On this very sad occasion - and on all occasions - I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard."

"Best Prime Day of the whole pandemic!"

"I suppose owning everything in the world gives him a certain cachet."

'Can I call you back? I've got a dinner to go to.'