Social Excuse Inventor T-Shirts

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Lame Lines

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'It's a long story.'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"