Social Dynamics Strategist T-Shirts

"When I don't like someone, I friend them just so I can unfriend them."

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

Capitalism and the Earth

Abstraction and recognition

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

"Let's not discuss it."

'Oh hey Rhonda, whatcha doin?'

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."

"Okay, so we all agree to support your father's run for office even though his ideas are bats**t crazy."

"I wish I'd been invited to all these parties before I discovered the joys of staying in."

"Pop-up prison."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."