Social Debut Mugs

"I'm having a coming out party. Wanna come?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'A cheeky red?'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

My Dream Valentine

"Whine and cheezed party."

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Liquidity Lunch

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Who do you think you're fooling, Henry, smelling the cork and tasting the wine? The only wine you ever buy comes in a box!"

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

"Sipsies?"

No matter where he worked, Frank always found himself six cubicles of separation removed from the fun crowd.

'Larry, did you feel THAT? Your career just peaked! And on MY show! Isn't that fantastic?'

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"Larry, this is my friend Richard and his transition team."

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

Men's Parallel Bars

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

'Are you a good mixer?'

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

"If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't change much—maybe part my hair on the other side."

Wine and Books Bar.

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"