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So Many Exceptions There Are No Community Standards

"Hey Mr. President. Don't you think it's unfair how black people can say the N-word but we can't?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Support the Ex-Troops

Torturing the English Language

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Wifi in Hell

"You know, there are other emojis."

Press Freedom

The Cougher

The Working Woman's Magazine

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Our Two Parties, Explained

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Coronavirus Impact on Children

Critisize your weight.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."