Social Circle Gifts

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Glance Exchange

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Network Extending from Buttonhole

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Call me!"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Even though we have to keep our distance...

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"There she is! Don’t be nervous. Just be yourself, walk over there and sniff her."

"‘How is everything?’ Well, I don’t think everything is going very well … but my pasta is excellent, thank you."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

"We met through a contact tracing app."

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'