Social Ascent Strategist T-Shirts

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Yummy Mummies

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

Women Have To Choose

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"We liken our business to a nursery Smithers. Unfortunately, we see you as more of a ground cover than a climber."

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

'Oh hey Rhonda, whatcha doin?'

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

Why are you here?

Lady having her hair dyed

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

'Make me look like I own the latest Apple technology.'