Snobberry Critic T-Shirts

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Champagne at the hunt

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

'He's a mixed breed.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."