Snobbery Scholar T-Shirts

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Champagne at the hunt

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

The book is so much better than the film..

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

'New money or old money?'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'