Snobbery Scholar T-Shirts

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Now I really hate poetry."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Champagne at the hunt

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

The book is so much better than the film..

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"I used to write page-turners, but my MFA cured me of that."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."