Sniff Enthusiast Pillows

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

"Great Perfume!"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"Yeah, it's completely irrational, but the smell of freshly baked bread makes me salivate too..."

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

Plastic Surgeon Kid

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Cologne sir?'

"I don't understand, the advert said that that aftershave would have women falling over me!"

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"