Snack Swapper T-Shirts

Many schools are going away with the traditional junk food vending machines.

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

'Snack Bar's Open.'

Dog's Sandwich

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

Authentic Hot Dogs.

'Every time you eat lotus, an hour later you forget.'

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

"I'm sorry, sir. No outside food is allowed in the theater."

'You can't eat me! Didn't your mum tell you you shouldn't snack between meals?'

"I'm off carbs, dairy and fat. Basically I order a pizza and eat the box."

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

Crumbs.

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

'What a day! Mrs. Reed's own kids had her rubbed the wrong way before we even got to her.'

The Potato Man

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

"Remember when he was little and we couldn't get him to eat? Now he never stops!"

A fridge surrounded by books.

'They're getting awfully entitled.'

"Well put, Johnson."

'Defler, I'd like to speak to you about your part time, lunch hour job.'

Burger Discus