Smoke Stopper Mugs

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

'No smoking on school property, Ms. Hanes.'

"Smokey The Tree"

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

No Smoking.

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Musical Pipe

Stop smoking,instantly.

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

Nicotine Gum

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"These door hinges squeak."

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Can I borrow your cage cover? Ed's really snoring tonight."

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

Stop Smoking Program.

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

It wasn't easy, but we finally plugged the hole.

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'I can see you're going to be a bit of a challenge.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

'Is it getting hot in here or is it me!'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

Smoking ban in the Indian Camp.