Small Print Sleuth T-Shirts

Aways read the small print.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'Dog got your clog?'

Fine Print Letters

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."

'You must have something in my size?'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

Library sections - Music, Art ... Crime (missing) History..

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

Subtitle Guessing

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Shipping contract.

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'