Small Government Advocate T-Shirts

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

"Clean your specs, lady?"

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

'I've put the business up for sale.'

Randall shows his support of the tiny house movement...

Burn It Down

MADE IN CANADA "Buy Canadian"..."Eh!"

'We are from the F.B.L.'

"All very impressive, gentlemen...but where are you hoping to find people tiny enough to live in them?"

'If we let this happen, soon we'll be swamped in chain stores.'

"I've reduced theft by 55%!"

Frank's Butcher Shop. Ernie's Bakery. Starbux Coffee. It hasn't been the same since the candlestick maker went out of business.

"Typical! There's never anything in it for the little people."

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

The message that status symbols were so last year was getting through...

What can I get you? Keep it down, please. Coffee King. For the record, Coffee King is a giant, evil corporation. Your chain is a ubiquitous capitalist death star. You spread conformity, and ruthlessly crush small, independent cafes. But by golly do I love your peppermint hot chocolates! At that point, getting whipped cream on top seems guilt-free. I feel so dirty.

We were curbside before it was cool. Lemonade.

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

Terrance McWit, Attorney at Law, Last Lawyer for 387 Miles.

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

Small dairy farmers have no future.

Rudd's family Farmacy.

'He's sad because he had an origami business... unfortunately it folded!'

Sexy Voting

"Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?"