Slow-paced Athlete Gifts

"Sorry Sir, but it is already on the slowest speed..."

'Are you a football fan?'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Yearbook

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Bullseye!

Monica Seles

"Tour de Frank"

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

31. 19. 55.7.

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race