Slow And Steady Loves T-Shirts

You know what I hate? Late fees.

Speed Dating for Turtles

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Snail Display Today

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

'Get the ball, Leonard! The winning run is rounding second base! You've only got a matter of hours before he scores!'

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

Speed Checked By Radar.

Turtles and snails boarding Noah's Ark.

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

A tortoise

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"I don't want to rush things. Instead of hugging, why don't we just hold hands?"

Sign outside tortoise shell: 'Out to lunch'.

"Wait, I think I got a signal!"

"Mr. Green and I should be there in about 2 hours!"

Tortoise Mailman.

"He started at the bottom and found it to be his comfort zone."

Tortoise: I've been fired from the Marching Band: I couldn't keep up...

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"It's those creative types you ought to be checking on."

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

'Sorry, I don't brake for small animals.'

Biro Security

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."