Slots Pillows

Slot machine.

Sucker.

"But I don't want to go yet, I'm winning...I'm ahead almost three dollars!"

An affair to remember.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

Fruit machine...

One Armed Bandit

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'How about a game of cards?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

Dog in casino.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Highlights for Adults

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Tonto Casino.

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

"It's lotto fever."