Slothful Humorist Mugs

"Define 'busy'...."

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

How the goat got square eyes.

'Food fight!'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

Bummer Time Streaming

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

Museum Guard Portrait

'Late night with Norm Klosterman'

'Seem the remote?'

"Last year I didn't meet any of my work goals, so this year my goal is to fail at everything"

I think the couch potatoes are going to make you their poster boy. Only if they send a photographer over --- I'm not moving.

Bad Scalp Day

Scream Shrink

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"Oh, Jeez! A pube in my tea! How the heck did that get there?"

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"Pierce and Pebble, Solicitors. Here's a writ for you to appear in court for harrassment of our client, Dr Faustus."

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

"My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis."

"Society is so PC these days - I can't even poke fun at myself without offending someone."

'Loser on Board'

Desert Island Slob.

'He said I was one in a million but forgot to tell me about the other nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine.'

'I claim this mountain in the name of all underachievers everywhere!'