Sleepless Humorist Mugs

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

Wide-awake.

'I told you not to yawn near the toaster.'

'It's your turn, dear.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

'You have the right to remain silent...'

Things my cat says at 3 am

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'I'm writing an insomniacs guide to beating the IRS.'

Please tell me you were sleepswimming again.

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'

Atlas Sleeps on the Job.

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

"Your snoring is really getting out of control."

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

Wordplay: Scrambled Egg.