Sleep Mugs

"Try thinking about something else."

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

"I think I slept on it funny."

'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'

Zoom Counting Sheep

'Coffee won't help. I'm just not a morning person.'

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

"I don't know, Doc, a man can 'spring forward' and 'fall back' just so many times."

'Perhaps you'd like to try something a little firmer, madam?'

'I've got a moral dilemma here -- Mr. Zimmerman really needs the sleep, but it's costing him $175.00 an hour.'

Counting sleeping sheep.

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hello, front desk? I'd like to leave a March wake-up call.'

To Do: Eat, Sleep, Totally freak out at midnight.

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

I had this wonderful dream that I slept... but then I woke up.

Monsters Under Bed: Then and Now

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

Women sleep less well than men.

"I didn't want anything. I just wanted to see how fast you could get here in case of an emergency!"

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

'I'm having trouble sleeping, Rob. Do you think you could explain, one more thing how you picked our mutual funds?'

Overworked doctors in need of sleep

'I am not putting a foot in there until you do something about those bed bugs!'

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

Vegan Insomnia

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

'Am I getting up or going to bed?'

Man dreaming of pound signs jumping over a fence.

'Can you give me a non-drowsy medication for insomnia?'

'It's nothing to lose any sleep over. You just have insomnia.

"Good night, son - sweet dreams and a great sleep experience."

Hibernation Clock.

'The bad news is you're to be executed at dawn. The good news is your executioner is not a morning person.'