Sleep Tracker Pillows

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'Don't worry about it Dear: You know Daddy gets grumpy if he doesn't get his daily eighteen hours of sleep...'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"You were snoring."

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'