Sleep-deprived Humor Lovers Gifts

"How long before we can tell him we're exhausted?"

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Stairlift around cliff face.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"He looks just like your husband."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Very Presidential."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Cheating Death.

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"