Sleep-deprived Comedians Prints

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

Hypnotoon

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

"I'm so tired: Joey was tossing and turning in his sleep the whole night and kept waking me up..."

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"Is there room for me?"

'It's your turn, dear.'

'Well, if this book doesn't send you to sleep nothing will.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

Things my cat says at 3 am

"Been here long?"

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

Sleep!

'It's great that you can laugh at yourself, but can you not do it in the middle of the night?'

'Mom, did you know that if you turn the clock upside down, '4:45' spells 'Shh?''

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

'I'm going to hibernate in another cave. Last year your snoring kept me up all winter.'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

'Not tonight, dear - we're married.'

"How long before we can tell him we're exhausted?"

'... Same old excuse; 'Not tonight dear, I have a splitting headache.' Isn't it strange how I never get a headache?!'