Slayer Of Hearts T-Shirts

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

Giant slug attacks a city

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Doctcom

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Bark to me of love."

"Luckily the days are long gone when we just labeled people as "mad"'

"A word to the wise- never put on mascara when you're drunk."

"I'm not doing this because I like it. I'm doing this because I love you."

'He's having a bad feather day.'

"Will you please cut the 'Alas, poor Yorick' bit and open that chest?"

"So far I've gotten 2 bags of candy, 3 chocolate bars, and 5 bottles of sanitizer."

'Some people don't like working from home - they go a bit mad with the solitude.But I've got you, haven't I Mr Floppity Ears.'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"I love the Caribbean in February!"

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

"This is your plan to pay for our retirement?!"

'- and since when have Kings beaten Queens in THIS house?'

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

'Me? I have a cold mouse hand.'

Updated Classic: Treasury Island

The Bachelord

'Watch out!'

Seven dwarfs sing at bus stop in the pouring rain, to the annoyance of another commuter.

Wine Walking the Plank

'Is the pilot an Ace?'

"Josephine, my man!"

"I like a speed."