Ski Instructor Pillows

Ski Instructor

"I take it that you've hurt yourself skiing."

'Bad news from your ski instructor. You've been demoted to the beginners' class.'

Ski lift mobile

'I sure am glad we came up here to practice for the Talent Show.'

First aid in mountains

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'You're new here, aren't you.'

Watch out For Falling Skiers.

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

"Okay - here they come. Remember, it's a lot like catching salmon only spit out the poles."

"I choose to remember Aspen as it was."

Mountain rescue dog with flavoured water as opposed to brandy in barrel.

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

The ski jumper...

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'I don't think I'm on the cross country ski trail anymore ...'

The Doping Games?

'Decision time-am I going to eat you or are you going to eat me?.'

'Emergency department: 200m'

'It's early days, but it looks as if downhill sofa jumping is fast becoming an Olympic discipline!'

'What, no keg of brandy anymore? Just a wine list by the glass?'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

Experts only.

Skiers

'Dang! How did Charles Addams do it?'

Clown Skis.

'It's not a sales chart. It's a diagram of the mountain we use to test our skis.'

Winter Roadwork...

Man crawls out of avalanche to see two rescue dogs relaxing.

'It's great that they taught you CPR, but I wish they'd also given you breath mints.'

Winter Sports Ban

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

"Now let's try fastening the other boot."

Zen and the Art of Skiing