Ski Bum Pillows

Winter Breaks

Man crawls out of avalanche to see two rescue dogs relaxing.

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"Do you feel a draft in here?"

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Beach con-man.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Desert Island Meals.

Bad fake tan day.

'Thank-you God.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bring your own inflatable.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Hiding the electronics.

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The rocket powered skiier

Iliadette.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Surfing koala.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

'It must be the dead sea.'