Skeptical Listener T-Shirts

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

I believe their products are rubbish.

"Why does your all-knowing, all-powerful god need marketing?"

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.