Skeptic Of Health Trends T-Shirts

Ask your doctor

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

''Free prescription drugs'? — We don't even have doctors!'

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

"Why should I want to add years to my life when they all come at the end?"

'Of course you can have a second opinion. Let's just hope he gets here in time.'

'It seems so festive.'

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

Following several health insurance denials of coverage, Thelma finally resolves to entrust her hubby's seasonal depression to the gentle alternative process by psychotherapist Hans-Georg Stumke.

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"