Skeletal Satirist T-Shirts

'We can't pull the plug until the paperwork is finished.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

'Golf War Syndrome.'

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

X-ray of body shows skull.

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

"He was right. . . He really did have a novel in him."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Discobolus

Hockey Pairs Skaters.

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

Time Scales

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

"You took your time!"

"Guess what face I'm making now."

The Spine Center

'No, I don't think x-rays are needed.'

'Okay, let's have the thing. You know the thing. That muscley pumpy thing. For Pete's sake, the thing that came in the cooler."'

"And for exercise, I walk around the block a few times every day."

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

'And I'm'm not coming out of there 'til I'm amber!'