Situational Strategist Gifts

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

The trap

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

George Smith Patton

'Whoever said 'taking part is better than winning' was certainly a loser...'

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

"My mistake. It was the mailman."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'