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'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

The Music Lover.

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

And that's why I'm still single!

Boyfriend Shirt.

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Football merchandising - 1953.

"Lucky!"

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

Alex Ferguson

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

"I almost had a 'I need a man' moment last night....but then I managed to get the cork out of the wine bottle myself."

Barnum & Bailey's 3 - ring progeny

'He's showing off his muscles again! Why do the mares find the eventing guys so fascinating?!'

"You'll soon get used to it, being deceased is fun."

'I know the club is broke, but this is going too far.'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

Sex is for Procreation Only.

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

Saint Christopher

Stores of grain and blessings.

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

I, Maryanne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do I watch.

Shut Up

Chess cheerleaders jump up and down but don't make any noise.

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'