Singles Bar Philosopher T-Shirts

"Uh, wait a minute - Did you say 'Not IF you were the last man on earth,' or 'Not UNLESS you were the last man on earth'?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Men gossiping

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Brickie's Mate

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."